what to do when your co-workers do not like you

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Interacting with others is inevitable in well-nigh piece of work places. Unfortunately, y'all volition occasionally come up beyond a co-worker who rubs you the wrong way. It's of import to know how to piece of work with someone on a professional level, even if your personal human relationship with that person is strained. Through learning to navigate the function to coping with the situation emotionally, in that location are a diversity of ways to deal with working with someone you just do not get along with.

1. ane

   Endeavor to limit interactions. While information technology's not ever possible to completely avoid a co-worker, you can strive to go along interactions as infrequent as possible. But fugitive interaction is probably the easiest style to cope.

   • Some interactions are probably unavoidable, especially if yous two work together directly. Withal, yous can avert chatting with this co-worker in the pause room or during downtime. If you detect your co-worker come in, politely excuse yourself by saying something like, "Well, got to get back to work. Nice seeing you lot."^[1]
   • When you lot exercise take to collaborate with the co-worker, keep things professional. Avert bringing upwards personal matters or things irrelevant to the chore at hand as, when dealing with someone who dislikes yous, this is an invitation for negative interaction.^[2]

2. two

   Exist nice to the offending person. Many psychological studies indicate that it's very difficult to dislike someone who likes you. If your co-worker feels you respect and like him or her, some of the dislike he or she may have towards you might fade.

   • Tell someone else in the office that you like and respect the problem co-worker. That information may go repeated secondhand. When such a bulletin does not come directly from you, your co-worker may be more likely to believe information technology.
   • Testify a genuine involvement in your co-worker's input. People tend to like people who pay attention and engage with them. While you should still stick to avoiding this person when possible, during the times y'all practice have to collaborate listen to what he or she says actively. This might make your co-worker's dislike you less.^[3]
   • Pocket-size, friendly interactions can help as well. Something equally uncomplicated as "skillful morning" can get a long way.^[4]

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3. 3

   Separate your work life from your personal life. If you have trouble interacting with a particular colleague, attempt to separate your piece of work life from your personal life. You do non have to socialize with colleagues outside of piece of work. If the co-worker who dislikes yous is ofttimes part of Friday night happy hours, forego these events and seeing the friends yous know from outside work.^[5]

4. 4

   Report the situation if information technology gets out of hand. Y'all do not want to report beliefs unnecessarily. Nonetheless, you should certainly report any behavior that's interfering with your ability to exercise your chore. Talk to Man Resource if the situation gets out of hand.

   • Management tin assistance negotiate situations if your ability to practise your job is threatened. You lot should keep a tape of your interactions for a week or so if you plan to report merely so you lot take solid information to prove to officials.^[six]
   • Brand sure you focus on how your co-worker'southward behavior affects the company. Speak in objective terms and explain about how productivity and morale are damaged by your co-worker'due south attitude.^[7]
   • Recall, this is a final resort. You do not desire to go labeled the role tattletale. Y'all should only report your co-worker if yous experience he or she is harassing you, attacking yous personally, and is persistent in his or her actions despite your attempts to avert or rectify the situation.^[8]

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1. 1

   Continue a healthy perspective. Emotionally, keeping a healthy perspective is one of the best ways to cope with a negative co-worker. Stay focused on your larger dreams and career goals. Avert getting caught upwardly in petty workplace drama.

   • When you get frustrated, consider where you lot want to be in the next year or the side by side five years. How much does this co-worker really matter when information technology comes to your longterm goals? How long volition y'all really exist working together? It'due south more than probable your troublesome co-worker will not be role of your career for the long run.^[ix]
   • Can you lot learn from the situation? Try to encounter the situation as a lesson in how to care for others. If your co-worker's dislike is making work difficult, do not replicate that kind of beliefs in any future interactions.^[ten]

2. 2

   Detach from the situation emotionally. While information technology's easier said than washed, sometimes the best way to deal with a negative state of affairs is to find a way to remove yourself emotionally. Endeavor to simply ignore the beliefs past refusing to react to information technology.^[11]

   • It can assist to engage in relaxation techniques throughout the day. You lot tin can try steadying your thoughts past hyper focusing on the present moment. Take stock of your body, your breathing, your surroundings. This volition stop you from becoming upset past your co-worker'southward actions by placing focusing on the physical alone.^[12]

3. iii

   Detect a back up organisation outside of work. Whatever you do, do not bad talk your co-worker to other people in the office. This will non merely reflect poorly on you, it can hands get back to your co-worker and brand the situation worse.

   • Everyone needs to vent sometimes. It'southward okay if you desire to get your frustrations off your breast. However, keep your venting outside the office. Talk to friends and family members you know from outside work rather than acquaintances from the office.^[thirteen]

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1. 1

   Consider your co-worker's perspective. While it might be difficult to accept, there could be something y'all're doing to make your co-worker dislike you. Try to consider your co-worker's perspective to run across if there's been whatsoever bad behavior on your part.

   • Jealousy frequently fuels dislike. Your co-worker could run across you as more successful or see traits in y'all that he or she lacks. While you can't necessarily eliminate your co-worker's jealousy, consider whether y'all've been overly smug or boastful about your success. If so, this may be fueling the dislike.
   • People can mistake shyness as rudeness. If y'all simply do not interact with your co-worker frequently, he or she might think you're cold. Trying to be a flake friendlier tin assistance.^[xiv]
   • Do other people in the office seem to like you lot? If not, you may exist inadvertently engaging in behavior others find off-putting. Endeavor talking to a co-worker yous're close to and ask him for objective feedback on your beliefs. Run into if in that location'due south anything yous're doing that could be off putting to others.^[fifteen]

2. ii

   Review past interactions with the co-worker. Carefully review any past interactions you lot've had with your co-worker. Sometimes, people dislike others for a unmarried bad interaction. There may have been something you said or did that's fueling the dislike.

   • It could be something unproblematic, similar you not holding the elevator by error one mean solar day. You lot could have also accidentally said something insensitive, similar a comment on your co-worker'due south outfit he or she took the incorrect way.^[16]
   • If yous identify whatsoever past mistakes on your part, offer your co-worker a sincere amends. If the dislike stems from a simple misunderstanding, it tin probably exist cleared up with a quick conversation.^[17]

3. 3

   Evaluate your stress level. Be honest with yourself about how much the situation is bothering you. If you're unable to separate your work life from your private life, it may be fourth dimension to look for another job. Be aware, however, that difficult people exist in every profession. If difficult co-workers really get to you lot, it might be a practiced idea to come across a therapist about managing your overall stress.

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Add New Question

• Question

  What should you lot practise if someone hates yous for no reason?

  

  Meredith Walters is a Certified Career Coach who helps people develop the skills they need to find meaningful, fulfilling piece of work. Meredith has over eight years of career and life coaching experience, including conducting training at Emory University's Goizueta Schoolhouse of Business and the United states Peace Corps. She is a former Member of the Board of Directors of ICF-Georgia. She earned her coaching credentials from New Ventures Westward and a Main of Business organisation Assistants from the University of San Francisco.

  

  Certified Career Autobus

  Expert Answer

  Go on in mind that your coworker'south feelings might non actually accept anything to practise with you. They may be dealing with their own bug. Information technology's not always piece of cake, but try to view your coworker with compassion.

• Question

  How exercise I bargain with someone who hates me at work?

  

  Bargain with that person on a professional person level, nothing more. Your co-workers don't have to exist your friend. If they are, that's icing on the block; if non, carry on with your chore and your life.

• Question

  I do everything on time, I help my coworkers with work-related and even personal problems, merely they exercise not assist me at all. They all hate me, even my dominate! What can I do?

  

  You are giving too much of yourself and you lot need to pull dorsum and respect yourself past setting some boundaries. If they come to yous for help it's unlikely they detest yous. If you need help, enquire for it, but do not continue to stay late or run into your deadlines if yous do not become the assistance you need. I know it'south not what y'all want to hear simply they are taking advantage of y'all. You seem to be a decent person and you lot desire to please and help others. Non anybody in this earth is as nice as you. Lamentable but true.

• Question

  I merely started a new job. I have a coworker that initially acted like she wanted to exist my friend, then suddenly she changed drastically. Now she bad-mouths me to others in the office. I notice her very disrespectful. What tin I do?

  

  The mature matter to practise hither would be to ask her. Just say something like, "Did I practise something to offend you or make you aroused?" If she'south talking about y'all to others, bring information technology upward to your boss or the Hr department, this could be considered a "hostile work environment."

• Question

  How do I handle a situation with my co-worker being angry with me, merely non telling me why? We piece of work closely together and at present it has get an awkward situation.

  

  If the person isn't going to explicate why and leaves y'all feeling this manner, then that's their problem. If you feel that you've done aught wrong, ignore therm and focus on your job.

• Question

  A person who dislikes me started rumors well-nigh me. Why should I exist overnice to him? Shouldn't he have to be nice to me when I did nothing to him?

  

  It would be nifty if he would exist nice to you, just the world is non always a fair identify and people do non always deport the way they should bear. You can't command him, y'all can only control your response to him. Either be a ameliorate person and be nice, or just ignore him. If he dislikes you, he's probably trying to make you upset. Don't show him it's working.

• Question

  The person who dislikes me at my work place is the human resource head. What tin can I do?

  

  Avert that person, and don't speak to him/her as much as possible.

• Question

  I ever detect myself beingness disliked past my coworkers, but chronicle well with my bosses. I really cannot tell why, and am conscientious not to offend anyone. What could be the trouble?

  

  Usually when coworkers don't like y'all, information technology is because they feel threatened past you. If yous're an excellent employee, they may see y'all every bit someone who "sucks up" to the bosses to get what you desire, namely, their task. To prove them wrong, become out of your fashion to be kind, and ask them for work-related communication now and then. It will make them feel much more comfy around you.

• Question

  Someone I piece of work with ignores me but is very friendly with other people. What should I do?

  

  Let it get and move on or work harder to become to know this coworker so you lot tin forge a connexion.

• Question

  I am ostracized and disliked at piece of work. How do I deal with this?

  

  Keep with those who are prepare to work with y'all and ignore those that don't like you lot. If you lot really want to solve the issue, consider talking to HR or a superior well-nigh the problem(s). They may exist able to do some kind of intervention between you and the other employees to prevent them from continuing to ostracize and disrespect you. If the trouble persists, I would recommend trying to detect a new job.

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Commodity Summary Ten

Working with someone who hates y'all can be a drag on your job, but past keeping your distance and being civil, you tin can minimize hard feelings. Try to limit your interactions with the coworker that hates you. For example, if they come and sit nearly you in the break room, say something like, "Well, got to become back to work. See you later." Sometimes yous can't always avoid someone, but if you accept to interact with them, remain polite and friendly. That manner, they'll take no reason to be unfriendly. Consider it good experience for dealing with other people y'all don't become along with. Even so, if their behavior starts to touch your piece of work, tell your dominate or talk to homo resources. For more tips from our co-author, including how to help yourself relax when you become stressed about a coworker, read on!

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